Saturday, April 30, 2011

Believing and Finding Contentment

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 
Hebrews 11: 1 (NIV)   
Faith requires a leap, a jump...everything is not neatly figured out. If I had all the answers, faith would not be required. As I struggle to find the answers, I search my heart and the scriptures, hoping for confirmation, but when I think it is within my reach, it slips just beyond my grasp.
Change is always difficult, uncertainty, fear of the unknown...fear of what is out there once we let go and free fall into whatever comes next. All those years of helping others find their courage though times of change and here I am looking for change and can't seem to find that courage for myself. Recently I typed an email to a friend trying to express my feeling and thoughts of recent weather events.......


Rain, Rain, Go Away!!! All this water…..feels like we’ve been here before….like last year at this time. Such extreme weather, we even had an earthquake drill last Thursday…..they had a recording of an earthquake played through the phone system and when we heard it, we had to drop where we were and get under our desks and hold on until it ended….scary stuff. More and more I find reasons to want to escape the workplace madness and be home to take care of and keep my family safe.

The day the tornado came though our little community, I was at work under a tornado warning there. I was watching the storm on television that was projected on a large screen. I could see the storm as it came over my house and could not reach my family on the phone. At the time I was watching it, my family was trying to find safety in my small office/hallway as trees were being tossed down and pulled up by the roots. Thank God they were safe and our house was not damaged, but we lost 8 trees, a tractor shed and several fences. Some of our neighbors we not as lucky with damaged roofs and sidings. The Fire House and Community Center across the street suffered the most damage with part of the buildings blown out. Of course, this was nothing compared to our southern friends last weekend……

In one of my favorite books, "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World", I read that there are times in our life when God writes the end to a chapter in our lives and asks us to say good-by to something or someone who has been important to us. It can be a friend, a spouse, a parent and even a job. Endings in a sense are inevitable and sometimes we are reluctant to let is hard to let go of things we feel we have control over. The question is asked, " Do you ever find yourself clinging to the pencil, refusing to let God write on the pages of your life? We know that the Lord is infinitely kind and patient in his dealings with us. He will show us how to relinquish our rights for his best". The writer suggests if we struggle in relinquishing control, we should ask God to make us willing, to recognize we have an adversary and to let go one piece at a time.
I pray that God will make me willing to surrender control of the things that are holding me back from turning the pages to the new chapter He is writing for my life. "Sometimes we cling to control because we fear changes that we are not ready to handle, but God, in his kindness, takes us at a pace we can handle. If we simply obey what he asks of us at the moment, He will lead us to the next step when we are ready".
Is my faith enough? God has written my life story, "His periods may not be my periods, His commas may not be my commas, His ways may not be my ways, but He knows the plans he has for me", my purpose at each stage in my life.....can I let go and have the faith, the trust, to let Him take me in the right direction?
Lord help me to be willing to understand in my heart that "God's plan is released when I believe and obey".
"Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver

No comments:

Post a Comment